Actually this should be captioned “Yesterday in Boulder” but the inspiration for my blog post arrived in today’s comments section of the Daily Camera.
Seldom (I could easily say never) is there such a voice of reason in the midst of a Boulder “crises”. I blog this post not to showcase the latest late night antics of the creepy little shits drawn to our beloved town’s bleeding heart (more specifically, it’s generosity to panhandlers) but rather to reach out to you, ForemostFelon, and give you kudos for such a wonderful comment. Without having researched any of the other things you’ve anonymously posted on The Daily Camera’s virtual reader’s blog (I’m going to be so bummed if you’re a troll) I want to meet you and hopefully convince you to run for city council. Boulder needs more of this kind of talk.
Kudos to the nut who made tiny campaign signs and then placed them at the burrows of Boulder’s Prairie Dogs. This is absolutely hysterical and you are my fun hero for the day! At the same time I offer heartfelt sympathy to the poor enforcement officer who now has to go, in full uniform, from burrow to burrow collecting the signs as the indignant little rodents pop out of their holes and chirp in your face… even worse is the possibility that removing the signs will be breaking some sort of campaign law and you are going to find yourself on a forced leave of absence due to free speech violations. I’m laughing but I promise you have my full support. Hang in there.
Let the Carl Spackler jokes begin!
I can’t make this up people. This is my new favorite Boulder story, not because of the story (which is pretty great) but because of all the comments the article received. Here’s the story as it’s reported in The Daily Camera… the comments follow.
“What do you do if you find a bear trapped in your vehicle? Open the door.
At least that was the advice Colorado Parks and Wildlife gave a Sugarloaf Mountain resident when confronted with that situation early Friday.
In an interview with 7News, Taylus, who refused to give his last name, said he heard his car horn honking at 3 a.m. Friday but ignored the disturbance until 4:30 a.m., when he went outside to investigate. When he looked inside his Honda Element, he was shocked to see a bear apparently trapped inside the vehicle.
“We see them here all the time,” he told the station. “But this is the first time they’ve gotten in the car.”
Taylus called Parks and Wildlife, he said, and the officer on duty told him that, if he felt up to it, he should open the door and let the bear exit the vehicle on its own. So he did — jumping into his nearby Toyota truck after opening the door — and the bear ran off into the woods, the TV station reported.
The bear was less than kind to the Honda, tearing the seats to shreds, destroying the instrument panel and pooping on the floor, but the man said he’s not mad at the animal.
“The car’s totaled,” he told 7News. “Hopefully the bear just gets left alone to continue to roam around and harass people.”
He said he did not have any food in the car but did have a used garbage bag inside.”
And now a word from the locals:
“So how does a bear end up trapped in a car in the first place?”- bherenow
“The bear just wasn’t in its element.” – Ur_8Wyrb
“looks better than my brother’s car” – Chris_Pincher
“Good thing Taylus didn’t give his last name, as there are so many Taylus’ that live near Boulder, in Sugarloaf. Who lives in a remote area, hears his car horn honking at 3 am, and ignores it for 90 minutes. How could that possibly be normal?” – JohnFromBeyond
“He said he did not have any food in the car but did have a used garbage bag inside.” A used garbage bag? Really? The bear may have helped the situation… ” – onceanative
“Well, now we’ve located the only person on the planet who lays in bed for 1.5 hours while someone (or something) is downstairs in their car honking the horn. I’ll have what he’s smoking.” – johnvincent112
“Don’t lock your car doors at night people! Leave the keys in the ignition! Then there will be far more entertaining stories here with the typical high-school newspaper grammar and spelling we all expect from a rag like DC!” – johnvincent112
Sorry my Memorial Day post is so delayed. I actually sat down last Tuesday and typed the most amazing entry about sitting on the sidelines of the 34th Bolder Boulder and watching over 50,000 wheelers, runners and walkers come together in one of the largest Memorial Day gatherings in the world. The post was complete with fabulous photos, hysterical captions, snark about Boulder, tears of pride, images of anguish, patriotism (with matching photo of the American Flag being carried by a group of Marines) and of course the best creative writing of my life but unfortunately I added one too many photos and the entire entry was deleted off the blog. Two hours of my best work wadded up and thrown into the virtual garbage can that holds all of WordPresses randomly deleted files.
So here’s a second attempt to recreate Memorial Day Part 1. PS, Part 2 involves me, Zippy the cat and a snake jumping around the backyard in the world’s most aggressive game of hot-snake…get it? Hot-potato but with a snake? Any hoo.