My Sunday morning wish is to hear Seth MacFarlane read the Miss America blurb printed in this morning’s Daily Camera:
“Mallory Hagan won the pageant after tap dancing to James Brown’s “Get Up Off Of That Thing” and answering a question about whether armed guards belong in grade schools by saying ‘we should not fight violence with violence'” – Boulder Daily Camera
Now for your own Sunday morning wish… you’re welcome!
I plan to have this routine down by noon.
Let me start by saying I am a parody junkie. Always have been and always will be. Especially when it comes to people/companies who take themselves waaaay too seriously…for no reason at all Brad Pitt’s Chanel #5 commercial just came to mind. Needless to say I’ve been an SNL junkie all my life. I came across this all time favorite and had to share the laugh.
I actually loved the Audrey Gap ad when it came out but the spoof by Andy Dick was one of the greatest of all times. Now keep and open mind here, remember this was pre-addict, pre-young-hollywood-molester, pre-psychotic-freak, Andy Dick. He was actually pretty hysterical at the time.
First the original with the lovely Audrey…
And now for the masterpiece!
In addition to “Beer For Bums”, and “Cellphones for Bums”….
I agree with keeping people on welfare FOREVER!
I want my parents and their friends to work two jobs while young able-bodied people live on handouts and get FOOD STAMPS!!! Seriously, who in the hell wants to learn how to fish?
I want the guys in the military (including the 4 in my family) to go off to war ill prepared and underfunded.
I believe in death squads… the more the merrier!
I want Obamacare to drain the system and leave everyone living on the streets…maybe the Baby Boomers will have to work THREE jobs!
All the ultra conservatives are exactly right, my vote had nothing to do with supporting a political party that sees women as equals and believes they are capable of making thoughtful and conscientious decisions for themselves and their families. And I certainly didn’t consider the idea that maybe the less fortunate should continue to get some support until we as a nation are back on our feet… and of course I see no difference between those who have real needs and those who are milking the system. Yes, I didn’t consider the ramifications of losing our credit rating and selling our country to China. I seriously have no clue about the dangers of the debt that’s been created and gave no thought to whose plan made more sense to me and my community. On top of that, the notion that the US needs to work with the international community instead of telling them what to do never crossed my mind. I can’t imagine why we need to tread lightly as we move into an energy future that will hopefully offer alternative sources to the insanity that continues to take place with our suppliers in the Middle East. And lastly, I never considered the views of family and friends who agree with the Republican agenda. I’m glad their candidate lost and and I’m especially glad that they’re worried about the future because of the decision I helped to make.
Whew! Feels good to clear that up! It bothered me that people assumed I put some thought into my decision and might have actually voted according to what I felt was best for my friends, my family and my community.
I’ve never really done product reviews (unless complaining to Chris counts) but after sitting here for 20+ minutes twisting and turning in an attempt to speed up digestion on the lump of fiber that’s hanging in the pit of my stomach I’ve been inspired to start…
Luna’s “New” 70% Organic Chocolate Raspberry Fiber Bar was included as a free sample in last week’s Diva Dash race packet. And because I haven’t been to the grocery store in over a week (and because I neglected to read the “70% Organic”) I decided to eat it for this morning’s boost of energy before heading out on my morning run. But now, 25 min later, I’m sitting here with a strange lump in my belly and seriously considering replacing today’s trip to the trails with a Real Housewives of New Jersey marathon… this lump-o-fiber is requesting a little quiet time.
The review it gives itself reads: “As women, we want what’s good for us to also taste really good. LUNA Fiber, a soft-baked, fruit-filled bar with 7 grams of hunger-curbing fiber, is anything but bland…” yadda yadda yadda “packed with protein” yadda yadda “delightfully satisfying” yadda “boosted by the CORE 4” (uh?)… “LUNA Fiber celebrates the power of positive snacking! -The Women Of Luna”. It seriously says “The Women Of Luna”.
So basically this is just a bunch of FDA word-smithing derived from focus groups with women who have exercised the taste buds right out of their heads. FYI “The CORE 4” is described as: “While other nutrients are also essential for human nutrition, the CORE 4 nutrients are listed because of their importance to many women seeking to maintain their health.” Oh, okay, umm… I’m sorry but whaaat?!
Any-hoo, my review is simple: Best when starving!
PS, calling something “70% Organic” is basically the same as saying “Hey, the water is only 30% contaminated so jump on in!” And don’t even get me started on the chocolate claim.
My suggested “CORE 4” for women seeking to maintain their health: Whole Wheat Bread, Peanut Butter, Honey and a Knife. A PBH sammie 40 min before your run gets you home strong every time… and no wasted packaging.
Now to find the remote.