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I’ve never really done product reviews (unless complaining to Chris counts) but after sitting here for 20+ minutes twisting and turning in an attempt to speed up digestion on the lump of fiber that’s hanging in the pit of my stomach I’ve been inspired to start…

Luna’s “New” 70% Organic Chocolate Raspberry Fiber Bar was included as a free sample in last week’s Diva Dash race packet. And because I haven’t been to the grocery store in over a week (and because I neglected to read the “70% Organic”) I decided to eat it for this morning’s boost of energy before heading out on my morning run. But now, 25 min later, I’m sitting here with a strange lump in my belly and seriously considering replacing today’s trip to the trails with a Real Housewives of New Jersey marathon… this lump-o-fiber is requesting a little quiet time.

The review it gives itself reads: “As women, we want what’s good for us to also taste really good. LUNA Fiber, a soft-baked, fruit-filled bar with 7 grams of hunger-curbing fiber, is anything but bland…” yadda yadda yadda “packed with protein” yadda yadda “delightfully satisfying” yadda “boosted by the CORE 4” (uh?)… “LUNA Fiber celebrates the power of positive snacking! -The Women Of Luna”. It seriously says “The Women Of Luna”.

So basically this is just a bunch of FDA word-smithing derived from focus groups with women who have exercised the taste buds right out of their heads. FYI “The CORE 4” is described as: “While other nutrients are also essential for human nutrition, the CORE 4 nutrients are listed because of their importance to many women seeking to maintain their health.” Oh, okay, umm… I’m sorry but whaaat?!

Any-hoo, my review is simple: Best when starving!

PS, calling something “70% Organic” is basically the same as saying “Hey, the water is only 30% contaminated so jump on in!” And don’t even get me started on the chocolate claim.

Considering this was a post Diva Dash photo and we look this fabulous one can assume that Melissa and I did not eat a pre-race Luna Fiber Bar.

My suggested “CORE 4” for women seeking to maintain their health: Whole Wheat Bread, Peanut Butter, Honey and a Knife. A PBH sammie 40 min before your run gets you home strong every time… and no wasted packaging.

Now to find the remote.