When in Atlanta I keep tabs on Boulder through the Daily Camera. I know, I know, but I figure its facts are close enough when it comes to the “issues” of The Bubble.

You can imagine the disappointment of opening up this morning’s edition of journalistic gold and realizing I’m away during one of my favorite Boulder traditions, Spring Bear Management. The bears come down from the mountains to break hibernation and enjoy the first fruits of Spring (read, raid garbage cans, pillage bird feeders, break into houses and rip the hinges off of refrigerators while the family is locked in the bathroom) and the Boulder City Open Spaces Rangers do their best to devise plans that will not only condition the bears from their favorite activities but that will also appease the environmentalist who just want to let the bears do their thing, cause after all, “WE are the guests in THEIR home”.

Any who, as I watch the management schemes unfold I’m always reminded of Wiley Coyote’s sketches for trapping Road Runner and can’t resist the chuckle. Some of them get pretty elaborate. Do the Bear traps ever work? Well, it’s hard to say. The success rate for conditioning the “worst offenders” (those bears who continue to come back again and agian) hangs just above nill but in Boulder, success is measured in how WE feel so I’m guessing (by the graceful fall of a 800 lb bear onto a 10″ gymnastic mat designed to catch a 98 lb girl) that this attempt was very successful!

Enjoy the ride to Crested Butte, Mr. Bear! I’ll be looking forward to seeing you and your appetite again next Spring!

Spice Jones