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Anthropologie's AG Hailey Ex-Boyfriend Roll-Ups, $188.

Anthropologie’s AG Hailey Ex-Boyfriend Roll-Ups, $188. Don’t get me started on the price.

When it comes to “my style” I pretty much live for Anthropologie…with a couple of gingham oxfords thrown in.  My first Anthro experience was in Boston, back in 1999. I was there on a commercial shoot and opted to stay in town an extra day to take in a little sight seeing. I still own the red pants I bought that day. I loved them so much that I wore them out of the store. Needless to say I’ve been a fan of Anthro’s, “It’s just an old French thing from the back of the closet” attitude ever since. I was actually reliving old times in the Boston store just three weeks ago. We were on a family trip- they thought I was lost at a street fair but I was actually trying on Maxi dresses.

When shopping at Anthro, I try to keep an 80/20 rule…

(Hang with me here. There are actually photos of me in my cut-offs after the jump. If nothing else it’ll be good for a laugh.)

….Eighty percent from the sale rack and only twenty percent at full price. Admittedly this doesn’t always protect from the Anthro effect on my wallet. I’m definitely guilty of paying triple digits for a t-shirt every now and then. But you have to admit, they have some pretty awesome tees.

Spice trying to sell her cut-offs.

Left: Anthro’s MiH Halsy Cut-Offs-$150. Right: My 6 year old Lucky’s I’m willing to part with for $120. Notice my Anthro bedding?

Anywho- This morning I was so excited browsing my Anthro “Jeans for June” email until I noticed multiple pairs of cut-offs for $150+. I pretty much sprayed herbal tea across the living room floor… for three reasons: 1. ARE YOU CRAZY? EVEN AN IDIOT CAN MAKE A FREE PAIR OF CUT-OFFS! 2. HOLY COW! LAST WEEK I SAVED MYSELF OVER $500! WHERE’S CHRIS, HE NEEDS TO KNOW THIS! 3. PAYING FOR CUT-OFFS ISN’T AMERICAN!!

Ok, that last one might be a bit of an emotional stretch. But seriously, the perfect pair of cut-offs can’t be bought. They have to be earned through good old-fashioned American living…

A. In a moment of weakness you have to spend an insane amount of money on a pair of jeans that make you feel AMAZING.

B. You have to wear these jeans EVERYWHERE for at least six months. Dancing, dating, babysitting, the movies, family reunions, traffic court, late night hedge diving during winter storms, I’m talking non-stop action in these jeans!

C. Now that they’re soft and faded (and you’re worried people are thinking you have nothing else in your closet) you have to spend the next three years wearing them for all of your cool-chick activities (camping, hiking, Saturday mornings on the back deck, party prep, laundry, housework) along with some of you’re not-so-cool-chick activities…like Facebook stalking while eating a pint of ice-cream on the sofa because you’ve been stood up. Don’t lie, we’ve all been there, even us married gals.

D. At this point they’re almost ready. The final test is to see if it’s a struggle to pull out the scissors and actually do the cutting. Because cutting them off should put a little tug on your heart. It should feel as if you’re throwing away half of well-worn journal. Now cut!

See, a true pair of cut-offs takes years to make.

Left: AG Malibu Bermuda Jeans $155. Right: My 6 year old Lucky's. I'll let them go for $100.

Left: AG Malibu Bermuda Jeans $155. Right: My 12 year old Red Engines originally purchased at Anthropology for $98. I’ll let them go for $90.

Needless to say, paying $160 for a pair of cutoffs is absurd in my book. Hell, paying $30 is absurd in my book when YOU CAN MAKE THEM ALL BY YOURSELF! Cut-offs were never meant to be bought from a store. They’re an American staple used to save money, not break the bank. They represent summer fun and freedom from responsibility. They look hip with a worn tee and sexy with a cotton sweater. And most important, they don’t hurt when you’ve gotten a little too much sun on your cheeks. Ultimately, if they don’t come from a pair of your own jeans they’ll never be what you want.

However, if you still insist on trying to purchase the real deal I’ll be happy to sell you a pair of mine (prices above). And just for the record, I do not wear Daisy Dukes. I wear regular old, tomboy style, cut-offs.

Happy Summer, guys!!

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