Oil Painting titled King Of KauaiChris is going to kill me but I have to share something that I know I shouldn’t share. And for the record I really do know better that to write these things but I also know that complaining about this on the internet instead of going directly to the problem and having an adult conversation (Chris’ suggestion) will offer so much more satisfaction and make how tired I am this morning just an itty bitty bit better.

My upstairs neighbor (who’s first initial is, C) has crazy, animal, bed breaking, sex that crows sometime around 4 am and doesn’t wrap up until his alarm goes off at 6:30 and I swear to all things holy I’m going to go insane! I don’t know how those two have the energy to make it to work each morning, lord knows I can barely drag myself to the shower after one of their marathon sessions and I’m only listening to it.

We knew about this when we first moved in and after giving it a few months we found ourselves with the opportunity to address the situation (i.e. Spice went berserk). One night in the middle of a very LONG episode I lost it and started screaming “SHUT UP! SHUT UP! OH MY GOD! WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP!” at the ceiling. As a side note, I don’t think they heard me…if you heard someone screaming downstairs wouldn’t you at least pause to figure out what was going on?? Anywho, Chris was working nights on The Walking Dead and he wasn’t there to fully grasp what I was dealing with so when I confessed my outburst he was not very pleased. Without knowing for sure if C had heard my rant but knowing for sure that he’d have no way to keep me from going through with my threats of stomping upstairs and beating on the door the next time C and “his lady” felt the urge, Chris decided to call C to have a man to man talk about some possible solutions…can you imagine?? I was so curious to hear how a conversation asking someone to switch to regular sex might go that I didn’t even try to spare him from such an uncomfortable exchange. My husband is a very patient man.

Due to some sort of man code, Chris wouldn’t let me listen in but later he shared that C was very apologetic and sincerely expressed that he had no idea they were causing so much noise (I’m not 100% sold on this one). Chris agreed that when the mood hits you have no choice but to answer nature’s call and in no way was he asking another dude to change his “lifestyle” but hopefully they could explore some ideas to make things right for everyone involved. C appreciated Chris’ approach and suggested they find a time when “the ladies are gone” (talking about me) for him to jump around on his bed while Chris sits in our room and listens for the possible improvements… needless to say, I was very disappointed not to be home when this plan was put into action.

I have to admit, C was lovely about the situation and thankfully things settled down and we were able to get some solid sleep… and I was able to muster up a smile when I saw C and his girlfriend in the hall. But lately something has changed and we’re back to square one with the noisy bed and the marathon wrestling matches; complete with mini-breaks that give you just enough time to doze off before it stars again, and I’m going crazy! I mean look at me, I’m actually blogging about this. Which, by the way, is making me feel much better even though I’m not confident in the photo I selected to match this entry.

I’m not sure how he’s forgotten that we’re down here or how he can ignore the fact that his bedroom shares walls with three other units but I’m shocked that such a nice guy lacks the shame to limit these activities to more appropriate hours. Even though Chris and I haven’t officially discussed a plan of attack I think we’ve agreed that because we’re leaving town in a few days we’re going to enlist a little Holiday Spirit and let the noises slide until we return in the New Year… but come January all guy codes are going out the window and I’m going to replace them with some crazy lady codes and a long broom that can’t be ignored. Anything for some rest!


If you’d like to purchase this print (I know nothing about this painting but since I’m using the image I’d to give credit where credit is due) here’s a link to The King Of Kauai